Thanksgiving is a wonderful concept. Family and friends gather, they share good food and gratitude, and everyone goes home happy and satisfied.

However, like many great concepts, it sometimes falls flat in the execution.

Thanksgiving has become the dreaded day when some of life’s most probing questions are asked.

“Did you ever choose a major?”

“When are you going to get married?”

“Why don’t you have any children?”

“When are you going to buy a house?”

Ouch. And if you happen to be a B2B marketer, Turkey Day brings an entirely different set of mood-destroying comments. It’s the holiday when your family tries to figure out precisely what you do for a living and determine why anyone would choose such a profession.

As a public service, Boomm B2B Marketing is going to help you get through this holiday unscathed with something we call our Thanksgiving Survival Kit.

Here’s how it works: We’ll present some of the inevitable questions about your profession, then answer them in a way that will help you circumvent any form of a family feud.

Question 1: A real job

The interrogator

This question comes from your no-nonsense Uncle Deductible. He has been an insurance adjuster for 35 years and his perspective of marketing was formed by 80’s sitcoms. He firmly believes creative people get paid to shoot pool, drink their client’s brand of beer and work only on the day before a presentation.

The question

“Hey hotshot, when are you going to leave the ad playground and get a real job?”

The answer

“You’re right Uncle D. My job is a cakewalk. Just last week I had an all-day chit-chat with the Chief Supply Chain Officer of a Fortune 500 distribution firm. We were discussing the wisdom of transforming their business model from a transactional, product-based approach into a highly adaptable solution selling model. He wanted to know what type of global strategy I would recommend for motivating his top tier accounts to embrace this transformative change. It was a million laughs. Say…how’s the insurance gig?”

 Question 2: Mystery clients

The interrogator

This question comes from your Cousin Prototype. She develops packaging formats for a massive CPG firm. She doesn’t think any marketing matters unless it is developed for a well-known household consumable.

The question

“Are you still at that invisible little agency? Why haven’t I heard of your clients?”

The answer

“Yes, Cousin P. I’m afraid I’m still imprisoned in B2B. Oh, how I dream of the day when I can be one of 23 creatives changing the color scheme on a shampoo bottle label. In the meantime, I guess I’ll have to drown my sorrows in the fact that we grew our nondescript client’s leads by over 10,000 this quarter with an omnichannel campaign…and I worked on every facet of it.”

Question 3: AI monster

The interrogator

This question comes from your well-meaning Aunt Quiver. She is always worried about your job security, particularly in that “dog-eat-dog” world of marketing. Last week, she listened to an NPR report on AI and her fears reached a fever pitch.

The question (technically two questions)

“Is that artificially intelligent robot going to take your job? Do you want to move into our basement for a while?”

The answer

“Thank you for your concern and generous offer, dear Aunt Q. But you can relax about my career. AI is not a job-eating monster or even my competition. It’s a tool…and we’re all exploring the best ways to use it. No matter where it all nets out, here’s the important fact to remember: The most powerful and valuable force in marketing is still original thinking. And that’s what my job is really all about.”

We hope these ready responses will get you through another holiday. If anyone asks a difficult question we haven’t covered, simply cram more stuffing in your mouth and grin.

Happy Thanksgiving.